SMOKING, DANCING & MY GRANDDAUGHTERS

“I never had a purpose for being alive.
Growing up was rough for me. I didn’t have a family like other people.
At one point I didn’t want to be around no one.
I just wanted to kill myself because I thought I didn’t matter.
I didn’t have a purpose.”
(resident of Life Challenge, 2019)

According to Shakespeare, the human dilemma is, “To be, or not to be.” But for me, practical guy that I am, the question is much simpler (or at least more pragmatic), “How do we stop messing up?!”

Whether it is porn, drinking, drugging, prescription painkiller dependency, gambling, temper tantrums, overeating, overspending . . . or your more run of the mill vices like excessive idleness, grumbling, ingratitude, and stinginess. How do we break free from these destructive ways of being?

At Life Challenge, we have had a rash of tobacco use among our residents of late. This is not anything new. I know this is not the worst “sin” in the book, but it is one of our house rules. We want to create a safe, healthy, and positive place for men to recover. Yet somehow, someway, individuals sneak cigarettes and vapes onto our campuses. I can talk until I am blue in the face about the physical harm tobacco use can have on the body. We can discuss the negative impact tobacco addiction has on one’s financial security. We can get into how tobacco use is a trigger for abusing other substances, especially when it comes to most recovering addicts. I can argue that tobacco use can weaken one’s Christian witness. Few, if any, will disagree with any of these points.

I can recommend various strategies to aid in overcoming this negative habit: spiritual disciplines such as prayer and fasting, Scripture memorization, corporate worship, solitude and silence, as well as more general measures like exercise, a healthy diet and sleep, relaxation techniques, accountability partners, smoking cessations classes, nicotine patches, lozenges and gum (and a big bag of Jolly Ranchers!), and  even changes in one’s social and geographical setting. Everyone will nod in agreement.

But the smoking and vaping continue, corrective measures and all.

I am not surprised. Tobacco addictions are among the hardest habits to kick.

I am also sympathetic because of my own personal experience. While I have never used tobacco, I have other nemeses that I have been fighting for sixty years, some with greater success than others. That said, who of us cannot appreciate Paul’s lament, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death!” (Romans 7:24)? (Misery does love company.)

So, what is the fix? How do we defeat the enemy? By rebuking the devil? Doubling up on will power? Some mind over matter? Getting “baptized” in the Holy Spirit? Going to a spiritual retreat center? Singing praise songs throughout the day? Drinking ginseng tea by the gallon? Practicing yoga?

All of the above and a zillion other things can be helpful whatever the issues holding us down. God’s grace can meet us in many different ways.

But I think there is something to be said about vision.

In an early draft of The Brothers Karamazov by Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky, a character in his book quips, “Without a firm notion of what he is living for, man will not accept life and will rather destroy himself than remain on earth.” The Bible puts it more plainly, “People without a vision perish” (Proverbs 29:18). Without a clear, compelling future, our lives run amok. The word perish in the Hebrew text literally means, “to let loose, let go, . . . to become unrestrained.” This is the same word used in Exodus 32:25 that is translated “out of control” when describing the Golden Calf fiasco that took place when the people of Israel were waiting for Moses to come down from Mt. Sinai with the Ten Commandments. They lost sight of the big picture and in their impatience, went wild.

Think of some of the greatest athletes of all time. Muhammad Ali. Michael Jordan (or is Lebron James the GOAT?). Tom Brady. Wayne Gretsky. Usain Bolt. Michael Phelps. Serena Williams. Lionel Messi. Derek Jeter. What do they all have in common? What kept them on “the straight and narrow?” What held them tightly to their training—the demanding drills and practices, the fastidious diets, the hours spent reviewing tapes and participating in mental performance coaching, . . . and just the simple discipline of going to bed consistently at a regular time? While none served as a perfect paragon of virtue (a place reserved alone for Jesus), I would argue that it was their focus that empowered the thousands of sacrifices they had to make every day. They all wanted to win. To be the best in their craft. To stand on the pedestal. To hold the trophy. To wear the medal.

So, these champions forwent tobacco use. Routine late nighters. Excessive alcohol (as well as twinkies). Binge watching on Netflix. Hanging out with losers. (Yes, I know some had their lapses.) But need I say more?

I like how Pastor and author Mark Batterson puts it, “I think vision is the cure for sin. One reason many of us get entangled in sin is because we don’t have enough God-ordained vision to keep us busy. The more vision you have, the less you will sin. And the less vision you have, the more you will sin. . . The way to stop sinning is not by focusing on not sinning. The way to stopping sinning is by getting a God-sized vision that consumes all your time and energy.”

There is power in purpose.

One of my visions is to dance with my granddaughters at their wedding. That will put me around eighty-five years of age (give or take). I may not be given that opportunity. I get it. I might be stricken with an illness. I might get into an accident. I might lose my car keys and miss the wedding altogether. God only knows. But if he wills, I am planning on doing no small jig on the dance floor. To that end, I am preparing to realize that vision. I jog and exercise weekly. I engage in stretching rituals. I eat well (most of the time!). I get regular check-ups from my doctor. I practice gratitude and forgiveness. I seek to love and use my God-given gifts to serve others. I do my best to follow in the way of Jesus.

And, I do not smoke or chew or consume alcohol. I am far from perfect, but I want to live long and well if I can help it. I have a lot of dreams I would like to accomplish.

In the TV series, Person of Interest, a science fiction crime drama (2011—2016), there is a critical dialogue that takes place between the two stars of the show, John Reese (Jim Caviezel) and Harold Finch (Michael Emerson) in the very first episode of Season 1. John is a former Special Forces soldier and CIA Operative who is homeless in New York City and trying to drink himself to death, suffering from PTSD. Harold is a billionaire software genius who built a computer system for the U.S. government after the September 11 attacks called the Machine, which monitors all electronic communications and surveillance video feeds in order to predict future terrorist activities. The Machine identifies as being “of interest” by providing only individuals’ social security numbers. Finch’s goal is to hire Reese to try to stop certain crimes from occurring.

Harold approaches John in a park and states that he believes they can help each other. John feels threatened and is about to accost Harold when the billionaire genius tells the troubled veteran, “I don’t think you need a psychiatrist or a support group or pills. . . You need a purpose. More specifically, you need a job.”

Maybe a God-sized vision is lacking in your life, and that is a major factor for your failures in some given area. I pray that you, in the words of the prophet of old, would be enabled to “enlarge the place of your tent, (to) stretch your tent curtains wide, (to) not hold back, (to) lengthen your cords, (and to) strengthen your stakes” (Isaiah 54:2). That you would be captured by God’s dreams, empowered to see as he sees and, accordingly, compelled to live for his soul-reviving, life-giving purposes.

P.S. In the meantime, I am denying myself donuts so I can put on a show on the dance floor with my grand girls twenty-some years from now that will not be forgotten!

“Major addiction can be interpreted
as a response to the absence of teleology in modern culture.”
(Kent Dunnington, philosopher)