“I never had a purpose for being alive.
Growing up was rough for me. I didn’t have a family like other people.
At one point I didn’t want to be around no one.
I just wanted to kill myself because I thought I didn’t matter.
I didn’t have a purpose.”
(former resident of Life Challenge, 2019)
According to Shakespeare, the human dilemma is, “To be, or not to be.” But for me, practical guy that I am, the question is much simpler (or at least pragmatic), “How do we stop messing up?!”
Whether it is porn, drinking, drugging, prescription painkiller dependency, gambling, temper tantrums, overeating, overspending . . . or your more run of the mill vices like excessive idleness, grumbling, ingratitude, and stinginess. How do we break free from these destructive patterns?
At Life Challenge, we have had a rash of tobacco use among our residents of late. This is not anything new. I know this is not the worst “sin” in the book, but it is one of our house rules. We want to create a safe, healthy, positive place for people to recover. Yet somehow, someway, individuals sneak cigarettes and vapes onto our campuses. I can talk until I am blue in the face about the physical harm tobacco use can have on the body. We can discuss the negative economic impact tobacco addiction has on one’s financial well-being. We can get into how tobacco use is a trigger for abusing other substances, especially when it comes to recovering addicts. I can argue that tobacco use can have an adverse effect on one’s Christian witness. Few, if any, will disagree with any of these points.
I can recommend various strategies to aid in overcoming this habit: spiritual disciplines such as prayer and fasting, meditation on God’s Word, corporate worship, as well as general measures like exercise, proper diet and sleep, relaxation techniques, accountability partners, smoking cessations classes (which we offer), nicotine patches, lozenges and gum (Jolly Ranchers work too!), and even a change in geography. Most will nod in agreement.
But the smoking and vaping continue, corrective measures and all.
I am not surprised but sympathetic. Tobacco addictions are among the hardest habits to kick.
I am also not surprised because of my own personal experience. While I have never used tobacco, I have other nemeses that I have been fighting for sixty years, some with more success than others. That said, who of us cannot appreciate Paul’s lament, “What a wretched man I am! Who will rescue me from this body of death!” (Romans 7:24)? (Misery does love company.)
So, what is the fix? How do we defeat the enemy? By rebuking the devil? Doubling up on will power? A little mind over matter? Getting “baptized” in the Holy Spirit? Going to a spiritual retreat center? Singing praise songs all day long? Drinking ginseng tea by the gallon? Practicing yoga?
All of the above and a zillion other things can be helpful whatever the issues holding us down. God’s grace can meet us in many different ways.
But I think there is something to be said about vision.
In an early draft of The Brothers Karamazov by Russian author Fyodor Dostoevsky, a character in his book quips, “Without a firm notion of what he is living for, man will not accept life and will rather destroy himself than remain on earth.” The Bible puts it more plainly, “People without a vision perish” (Proverbs 29:18). Without a clear, compelling future, our lives run amok. The word perish in the Hebrew text literally means, “to let loose, let go, . . . to become unrestrained.” This is the same word used in Exodus 32:25 that is translated “out of control” when describing the Golden Calf fiasco that took place when Moses was on Mt. Sinai collecting the Ten Commandments from God and the people of Israel, meanwhile, went wild.
Think of some of the greatest athletes of all time. Muhammad Ali. Michael Jordan (or should I put Lebron James?). Tom Brady. Wayne Gretsky. Usain Bolt. Michael Phelps. Serena Williams. Lionel Messi. Derek Jeter. What do they all have in common? What kept them on “the straight and narrow?” What held them tightly to their training—the demanding drills and practices, the fastidious diets, the hours spent reviewing tapes and receiving mental performance coaching, . . . and just the simple discipline of going to bed at a regular time? While none served as a perfect paragon of virtue (a place reserved alone for Jesus), it was their focus that empowered the thousands of sacrifices they had to make everyday. They all wanted to win. To be the best in their craft. To stand on the pedestal. To hold the trophy. To wear the medal.
So, these champions forwent tobacco use. Routine late nighters. Excessive alcohol (as well as twinkies). Binge watching on Netflix. Hanging out with losers. (Yes, there may be some exceptions.) But need I say more?
I like how Pastor and author Mark Batterson puts it, “I think vision is the cure for sin. One reason many of us get entangled in sin is because we don’t have enough God-ordained vision to keep us busy. The more vision you have, the less you will sin. And the less vision you have, the more you will sin. . . The way to stop sinning is not by focusing on not sinning. The way to stopping sinning is by getting a God-sized vision that consumes all your time and energy.”
There is power in purpose.
One of my visions is to dance with my granddaughters at their wedding. That will put me around eighty-five years of age (give or take). I may not be given that chance. I get it. I might be stricken with an illness. I might get in an accident. God only knows. But if he wills, I am planning on doing no small jig on the dance floor. To that end, I am preparing to realize that vision. I jog and exercise regularly. I eat well (most of the time!). I get check-ups from my doctor. I practice gratitude and forgiveness. I seek to love and use my God-given gifts to serve others. Ultimately, I trust in Jesus.
And, I do not smoke or chew or consume alcohol. I am far from perfect, but I want to live long and well if I can help it. I have a lot of dreams I would like to accomplish.
In the TV series, Person of Interest, a science fiction crime drama (2011—2016), there is a critical dialogue that takes place between the two stars of the show, John Reese (Jim Caviezel) and Harold Finch (Michael Emerson) in the very first episode of Season 1. John is a former Special Forces soldier and CIA operative who is homeless in New York City and trying to drink himself to death, suffering from PTSD. Harold is a billionaire software genius who built a computer system for the U.S. government after the September 11 attacks, called the Machine, which monitors all electronic communications and surveillance video feeds in order to predict future terrorist activities. The Machine identifies someone as being “of interest” by providing only their social security numbers. Finch’s goal is to hire Reese to try to stop certain crimes from occurring.
Harold approaches John and states that he believes they can help each other. John is about to accost Harold when he tells the troubled veteran, “I don’t think you need a psychiatrist or a support group or pills. . . You need a purpose. More specifically, you need a job.”
Maybe a God-sized vision is lacking in your life, and that is a major reason for your failures in some given area. I pray that you, in the words of the prophet of old, would be enabled to “enlarge the place of your tent, (to) stretch your tent curtains wide, (to) not hold back, (to) lengthen your cords, (and to) strengthen your stakes” (Isaiah 54:2).
May God fill your heart with his dreams, and may you live with purpose—for his purposes.
P.S. In the meantime, I am denying myself donuts so I can put on a dance show with my girls twenty-plus years from now that no one will be able to forget! (God willing)
“Major addiction can be interpreted
as a response to the absence of teleology in modern culture.”
(Kent Dunnington, philosopher)
