So many things make no sense to me.

• Why do we park in driveways, and drive on parkways?
• Why are wise men and wise guys opposites? • Why is it called a TV “set” when you only get one of them?
• Why do we spend so much time learning cursive in school when we never use it in adulthood?
• Why do people take babies to Disney World when it is so • expensive in the first place and they’ll never remember it anyway?
• Why is it that I am always losing socks after I put them into the laundry?

But the thing which makes the least sense to me is my life. I believe the gospel. I believe that Jesus died for my sins, absorbing in his body the wrath of God that was due me. I believe that Jesus’ blood cleanses me from all iniquity and that the sentence of hell has been lifted from me. I believe that because of Jesus’ perfect life of obedience, I am made righteous, welcomed into the family of God, and have an eternal inheritance reserved in heaven for me. So why isn’t my worship more invigorated? Why aren’t I more passionate about reaching the lost? Why aren’t I more generous with my resources? What aren’t I overflowing with thankfulness (I shouldn’t be able to shut up!)? Why don’t I have more peace and joy in my life? It doesn’t make sense. There is a disconnect between what I believe and how I live. I believe that:

• there is no condemnation for those who are in Christ (Rom. 8:1);
• nothing can separate us from the love of God (Rom. 8:38-39);
• God works out all things together for the good of those who love Him and are called according to His purpose (Rom. 8:28); • we are more than conquerors in Christ (Rom. 8:37);
• God will graciously give us all things (the certainty found in that He did not spare His own Son on our behalf) (Rom. 8:32);
• the Spirit Himself intercedes for us with groans that words cannot express (Rom. 8:26);
• Christ Jesus is at the right hand of God and is also interceding for us (Rom. 8:34).

I believe all this (unbelievable as it is!)—and haven’t even gotten out of one chapter of the 1,189 total chapters in the Bible—yet my love for Jesus is so shallow, my faith in Him so weak, my fear (respect) of Him so trite. If that’s not bad enough, I can get so impatient with others and become so judgmental and unforgiving in my attitudes. I don’t get it! There is such an inconsistency between what I profess with my mouth and what I express with my actions.

If anything—if my life did make sense—people would accuse me of being insane! That was certainly the case with the Apostle Paul. Standing on trial for his faith before Governor Festus, Paul could not stop talking about Jesus. Weary of listening to his never-ending testimony, Festus told Paul, “You are out of your mind!” (Acts 26:24).

What a compliment! What sweet madness! Oh, that my life would make such sense!

All I can say is that I am grateful that God does not treat me as my sins deserve (Ps. 103:10). He remembers that I am “but dust” and factors this into every decision He makes toward me (Ps. 103:14). His compassions are new every morning (Lam. 3:23). If it weren’t for His mercies, I would be consumed.

I feel like the father of the boy who was possessed by an evil spirit: “I do believe; help me overcome my unbelief!” (Mk. 9:24)