I had a good childhood. All of my material needs were met. Growing up, I thought I knew everything, had everything and needed nothing. I believed in science, in materialism. I called “religious” people crazy.
By the age of 16, I was sexually active. I used drugs and alcohol casually. It was my world, my life. I didn’t think anything of it.
I entered the Navy when I graduated and I was introduced to harder drugs, the kind of drugs that I vowed I would never use. I liked the experience, a lot – ecstasy, acid, special K, mushrooms, marijuana, and meth. I believed I was more powerful because of the drugs. They fueled my large ego.
My world came crashing down when I was hauled off to the DEA office by the Master at Arms. I spent the next year of my life waiting for my Court Martial and during that time I stopped caring about everything but meth. I knew I was in big trouble. What I didn’t know was that I had family praying for me. I was finally sentenced to just over four months in the brig. God had me where I needed to be.
Within the first couple of weeks I was a born again believer in Jesus Christ, but I was not truly broken. So, once my zeal for God started to wane, I slowly returned to my old self, my old self-reliance.
Then, about six years ago, I met the woman I would marry. Soon after we married, I felt something was missing. There was no joy. I thought maybe it was because we had had a child too soon and we were struggling financially.
I know now that I was relying on myself and not leaning on God.
I injured my knee and became angry and bitter. I blamed everything, including God, for the things I was going through. At work, they didn’t take my injury seriously. I soon began taking narcotics to kill the pain. It took the edge off. I knew it wasn’t right and didn’t honor God, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to numb myself. The more I did, the farther I got from God, my wife and my family.
I began to steal the drugs I desperately wanted. My addiction affected everyone I knew and loved. I was self-destructive, angry and bitter.
I finally surrendered all to God. I thought that I had given enough to God when I was saved but he doesn’t want just a part of us, he wants everything.
I had been holding back–trying to keep a secret place, a selfish place, from God. That was enough for the enemy to slip in and devour me. Thank God He gave me a godly wife and family that would intercede and know when to say enough is enough.
They surrounded me with the love of Christ. It was a hard love at times, but it was what I needed. I am in Life Challenge by the grace of my Lord and Savior and I am truly grateful for it.
In the time I have been at Life Challenge I have been delivered from my anger and bitterness. These were my true issues. The
drugs were just a way to hide from them.
God has blessed my wife and me with a better marriage than we have ever had. It is amazing how God can restore and improve our lives when we let him.
This doesn’t necessarily mean our lives have gotten easier, but it does mean we can be happy because we have the hope of glory. Even now while my wife struggles as a single mother of two boys, we can have peace through this temporary storm. We know victory and we can walk it out with the assurance of God’s promises.